How you feel about yourself and your body can change from day to day.You might find yourself comparing your appearance with other people, feeling uncomfortable in your body or being particularly critical of yourself. These feelings can affect your confidence, relationships, mental health and everyday life.

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You don't have to feel positive about your body all the time. But if thoughts about your appearance or your self-worth are taking up a lot of your time or making things difficult, support is available.

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What is body image?

Body image is about how you think and feel about your body and appearance. It isn't necessarily an accurate reflection of what you look like. It's influenced by lots of things, including your experiences, relationships, culture, social media and the messages you receive about what bodies are supposedly “meant” to look like.

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Body image can also change. You might feel comfortable in your body at some points in your life and find it much harder at others.

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What's the difference between self-esteem and self-worth?

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They're closely connected, but they're not quite the same thing.

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• Self-esteem is about how you think and feel about yourself, including your confidence in yourself and your abilities.
  

• Self-worth is about recognising that you have value as a person.

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When you're struggling with either, it can be easy to become very critical of yourself or feel like your value depends on things like your appearance, grades, relationships or what other people think of you. Your worth isn't something you have to earn by looking a particular way or achieving particular things.

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Why might I be struggling with my body image?

There isn't one reason why someone might find body image difficult. Social media, beauty standards, discrimination, ableism and messages around weight, fitness and appearance can all influence how we feel about ourselves. Your body might also have changed because of illness, disability, medication, hormones, stress or simply getting older.

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University can bring its own pressures too. Meeting lots of new people, dating, going out, sport and exercise, changes to routines or seeing carefully selected parts of other people's lives online can all affect how you feel about yourself. Whatever is contributing to how you're feeling, you deserve support without judgement.

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What can I do if I'm comparing myself with other people?

Comparison can be difficult to avoid, particularly online. Remember that what you see on social media isn't the whole picture. Images can be carefully selected, posed, filtered or edited, and you're often comparing your everyday life with a small part of somebody else's. If certain accounts or content regularly leave you feeling worse about yourself, you could try muting or unfollowing them and finding content that represents a wider range of bodies and experiences. It can also help to notice when you're comparing yourself and gently bring your attention back to what matters to you rather than how you think you measure up to someone else.

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Do I have to learn to love my body?

No. Messages about body positivity can be helpful for some people, but feeling like you should love your body can become another pressure.

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Body neutrality is another approach. Rather than focusing on whether your body looks good or bad, it encourages you to think less about appearance and recognise that your body is simply part of you. That might mean appreciating something your body allows you to experience, choosing clothes that feel comfortable or looking after yourself without needing to feel positively about your appearance first. You don't need to feel confident every day to treat yourself with care.

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How can I build my self-esteem?

There isn't a quick fix for low self-esteem, but small changes in how you treat yourself can help.

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You could start by noticing how you speak to yourself. If you're regularly thinking things about yourself that you would never say to somebody you care about, try questioning whether those thoughts are fair. It can also help to spend time doing things that make you feel connected, interested or capable – whether that's seeing friends, getting creative, learning something, joining a student group, volunteering or doing something purely because you enjoy it.

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Try to make space for the parts of who you are that have nothing to do with your appearance.

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When should I ask for more support?

You can ask for support at any point. You don't need to wait until you're really struggling. It may be particularly helpful to reach out if thoughts about your body or appearance are:

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• taking up a lot of your time

• affecting your mood or confidence

• stopping you doing things you'd like to do

• affecting your relationships

• changing the way you eat or exercise

• leading you to regularly check or avoid looking at your body

• making university or everyday life difficult.

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You could speak to your GP, the Student Health Centre or the University's Wellbeing Services.

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If your concerns are also affecting your relationship with food, eating or exercise, have a look at our Eating Disorders and Eating Difficulties advice too. You don't need a diagnosis before asking for support.

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What if I'm worried about someone else?

If you're worried about a friend, focus on how they're feeling rather than commenting on their body, weight or appearance.

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You could say:

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“You haven't seemed yourself recently. How are you doing?”

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Try to listen without dismissing how they feel or immediately reassuring them about their appearance. Comments like “but you look great” may be well-intentioned, but they don't always address what the person is experiencing.

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You can encourage them to reach out for further support if they need it.

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Where else can I find support?

‍YoungMinds has information about body image, including how it can affect mental health and things you can try if you're struggling.

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The Mix also provides information and support around body image and self-esteem for young people.

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If you're worried that your relationship with food, eating, exercise or your body could be connected to an eating disorder, Beat provides specialist information and support.

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How can the Advice Team help?

Our Advice Team isn't a mental health service, but we can help if how you're feeling is affecting other parts of your university experience.

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For example, we can help you understand your options if your wellbeing is affecting your studies or assessments, talk through relevant University processes and point you towards further support.

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Complete our enquiry form or email advice@exetterguild.com to speak to the Advice Team.

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You don't need to look a particular way, feel confident all the time or have everything figured out to be worthy of care and support.