Living with other people isn't always easy. ‍Different attitudes to cleaning, noise, guests, bills and shared spaces can turn small annoyances into bigger disagreements – especially when everyone's busy with university and spending a lot of time in the same home. ‍If things aren't working, you don't have to wait until everyone is completely fed up before talking about it.

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How can we deal with problems before they get bigger?

If you feel comfortable doing so, raise smaller problems early. Try to focus on what's happening and what needs to change, rather than making it about someone's personality. For example, instead of:

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“You're so messy.” You could try:

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“Can we work out how we're going to share the kitchen cleaning? I'm finding it difficult when washing-up is left for several days.”

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You might find it useful to agree some basics as a household, such as:

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• cleaning

• bins and recycling

• paying bills

• buying shared essentials

• noise

• guests

• using shared spaces

• borrowing each other's belongings

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You don't need a formal house rulebook. Sometimes getting everyone in the same room for a conversation is enough.

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What if my housemates never clean?

Try talking about it before quietly taking on all the cleaning yourself. If everyone agrees, a simple rota can help make responsibilities clearer. Think about the actual jobs that need doing rather than simply saying everyone should “clean equally”. You might divide up things like:

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• taking bins out

• cleaning the bathroom

• vacuuming

• cleaning kitchen surfaces

• buying shared cleaning products

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If everyone wants to use a cleaner and can afford one, that's another option - but it should be something you agree together rather than one person deciding everyone needs to pay.

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What if a housemate won't pay their share of the bills?

First, check whose name is actually on the account. The supplier's ability to pursue someone for payment can depend on who has the contract with them, so don't assume that splitting a bill between yourselves means the supplier sees everyone as equally responsible.

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If a housemate owes you money, contact them in writing and clearly set out:

• what the bill is

• the total amount

• how you've calculated their share

• how much they've already paid, if anything

• how much is still owed

• when you'd like them to pay

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Keep copies of the bill, messages and payments. If they still won't pay, talk to us about your options. In some circumstances you may be able to make a court claim to recover money you're owed, but there can be costs and there's no guarantee you'll recover it. GOV.UK explains how to make a court claim for money. ‍

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Can I make my housemate move out?

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Generally, you can't simply make another tenant leave their home because you don't get along. If you're all tenants, they have housing rights too.

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Try not to gang up on someone or pressure them to leave. If living together isn't working, you may need to look at whether the situation can be resolved or whether somebody voluntarily wants to move. If a housemate does want to leave, there can be important consequences for the tenancy – particularly if you're all on a joint agreement.

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Read our guide: How can I leave my tenancy agreement?  

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What if I want to move out?

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Don't simply pack up, hand back your keys and stop paying rent. Whether you can leave, and what you need to do, depends on the type of agreement you have.

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If you're thinking about moving because of housemate problems, read our separate guide before taking action: How can I leave my tenancy agreement?  

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You can also talk to our Advice Team about your specific situation.

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What if I'm worried about a housemate?

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Sometimes a change in someone's behaviour can make you concerned about their wellbeing. You don't need to diagnose what's happening or take responsibility for fixing it yourself.

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If you feel comfortable, you could check in with them and let them know you've noticed they don't seem themselves. You can encourage them to access support through the University, their GP or another appropriate service. Find University wellbeing support.

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If you're unsure what to do, you can also talk to someone about your own experience of the situation.

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What if my housemate's behaviour is affecting me?

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Your wellbeing matters too. Living with conflict, unpredictable behaviour or an uncomfortable atmosphere can make home feel like somewhere you can't switch off.

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You can talk to the University's Wellbeing Services about the impact the situation is having on you, and our Advice Team can help with any housing or tenancy questions. If it's affecting your studies, it may also be worth speaking to your department about the academic support available.

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What if I don't feel safe at home?

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This is different from an ordinary housemate disagreement. If someone you live with is threatening, intimidating, harassing or hurting you, you don't need to try to resolve it through a cleaning rota or house meeting.

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Prioritise your safety and get support. If you're in immediate danger, call 999.

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If you're on campus or need urgent University safety support, you can contact Estate Patrol on 01392 723999. You can also contact the University's support services  to talk through what's happening and your options.

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If the situation involves harassment, sexual violence, domestic abuse or another form of unacceptable behaviour, you can access specialist support through the University's Support and Report tool.

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How can the Guild help?

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Sometimes you mainly need somewhere neutral to talk through what's happening. We can help with the housing side of housemate problems, including:

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• understanding your tenancy

• joint tenancy responsibilities

• rent and bills

• wanting to move out

• problems with your landlord

• working out what other support might help

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We'll help you understand your options so you can decide what works for you.

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Complete our enquiry form or email advice@exeterguild.com for support.