If you’ve spent the last several years with the same group of people who’ve known you since you were eleven, moving to university can definitely be quite a strange adjustment. At school, friendships often happened by default; you either grew up in the same area, went to the same clubs, or saw the same people in every single lesson. Having that shared history gives you an automatic foundation and head start; you don't really have to explain who you are because everyone already knows.

At university, that "automatic" connection disappears. You’re starting from ground zero, which is both the most exciting and the most exhausting part of the first year!

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First-year accommodation is honestly a bit of a social experiment - you’re essentially placed in a flat with eight random people from completely different backgrounds and expected to share a kitchen. There is a huge amount of pressure to become "instant best friends" with your flatmates, and when you see other groups seemingly hitting it off immediately, it’s easy to feel like you’ve done something wrong if you aren’t having that experience with your flatmates.

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The truth is, though, that not everyone becomes best friends with their flat, and it’s definitely not the end of the world if you don't. While some people do find their long-term friends in their halls, many others just find people they can successfully share a fridge with - and that in itself is a win. Your flat is just one small pool of people; it shouldn't be the limit of your social life!

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One of the most important things to remember is that real friendship takes time to develop. There’s a common misconception that if you haven’t found your "people" by the end of Freshers' Week, you’ve missed the boat. In reality, I didn’t properly start hanging out with my now-best friend until the third term of first year, and I met many of my closest friends in second year.

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The first few weeks are often full of more surface-level friendships where you only really talk about your course and where you’re from; it takes a while for those to turn into actual, supportive relationships. If you feel a bit lonely in October or November, just know that almost everyone else is feeling the exact same way, even if they aren't showing it!

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Since you don’t have that history to fall back on, you must find new points of connection. This is why joining societies is so frequently recommended - whether it’s a sport, a hobby, or an interest group, it allows you to meet people who already care about the same things you do. It cuts out a lot of the awkwardness because you already have something to talk about that isn't just your A-level results.

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The best way to look at the "Uni Reset" is as an opportunity. At school, you were often stuck with the same circle you’d had since primary school. At university, you get to be intentional. You can choose your friends based on your actual interests, your sense of humour, and the person you are becoming as an adult.

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It takes more effort to build a support system from scratch now as an adult than it did at school, but the friendships you choose for yourself are often the ones that end up being the most rewarding. Give it time, don't put too much pressure on your flatmates, and remember that everyone is just as nervous as you are.

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